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I am taken where I am needed.

It is a weekday; I am at home in front of the computer doing some research on a company for a job interview. Suddenly a thought arises I must go to the shopping centre. Why must I go? I must get milk, before the kids get home. I get ready for shopping and drive to the Eastgardens shopping centre.

It is not like me to come without a list for shopping. All I can think of is milk, to buy. I buy bread and eggs in addition and am wondering – what do I do nextThere is something else to do. Walking past the coffee bar toward the car park, I feel like relaxing with a hot chocolate. The coffee man charmingly asks me if he can interest me in a chai latte with the vanilla flavour.

“Yes. You can because you are asking so charmingly,” I give in.

“You can sit anywhere, I will bring it to you shortly,” he says cheerily.

I really do not want a drink, I would prefer to go home and have my lunch shortly. Just the same I am going to enjoy it. Where do I sit? All tables that are marked for this bar seem taken, with cups, plates, newspapers and mobile phones. The only one with the least on it, I go to. There’s a young girl sitting relaxed with her take away drink in front of her. She is going through her mobile phone.

I: “Do you mind?” I ask her. I will call her Simone.

Simone: “Sure. Please do.”

We comment on our beautiful ear rings and start talking. Simone tells me she is on a break at the moment. She is a freelancer of some sort. She had a boyfriend that introduced her to India. The boyfriend moved on, but she cannot get enough of India. She is planning to go on a trip shortly there. And her brother might join her as well.

“How come you look so serene and peaceful?” she asks.

I tell her what I am into. She is into yoga and meditation as well. And then I tell her about the Guru coming to Sydney and how she could, if she were not going to India shortly, do the course with me. We laugh. She has decided especially because of her brother. I tell her it is Ok, there is always another time.

And then she suddenly tells me,

Simone: “I am pleasantly surprised that you are sitting here talking with me, a stranger, like this. You listened to me say about anything and everything. People do not come like that now-a-days. They have their paper to read, mobile phone to work with…”

I woke up this morning for you my dear. You are pleased to have me talk with you for only ten minutes?

I look around. And yes that is true, people are always busy. They keep themselves busy.

I: “I am on my break now, when I am working you won’t find me in the shopping centre at all.”

We laugh.

I feel she wants something from me. I check my bag. The brochures about the Guru’s visit that I had, I have exhausted them just yesterday at the library. Now it is coming back to me, I bought milk, bread and eggs yesterday already, when I visited the library at this very centre.

I tell her if I had the brochure about the events around the Guru’s visit, I could have given it to her for keep sake from me.

Simone: “Do you want my mobile number maybe to keep in touch for later?” She is asking me sweetly.

I think she is hesitating to ask for my mobile number. I remember my networking days working a multi-level marketing business; I prided myself being a good networker.

“You take the control, you get their number, if you leave it to them they won’t contact you…”

I: “There is no need for that, if it is meant to be we will meet again.”

We part soon after.

Well I have not met Simone yet. However, she reflected back to me who I am today.

Love you!



How to Transform Emotions

How to Transform Emotions

Love is not an emotion. Love is at the base of every emotion. Any emotion that arises in us stays with us from a couple of seconds to up to two and a half days. We can wait the emotion out or transform it to what it is, an expression of ‘love’. Here is how I learnt to transform emotions:

8 August 2006,

Since Mukur left eight months ago, the special breathing technique has given me the strength to be with all my feelings, guilt, anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness, and hurt, in the quagmire of dissolution. At first the feelings would stay for a couple of days at a time. Now I am past that, relaxed, happy and at peace with myself. It has given me clarity of my thoughts and feelings. I can observe my thoughts arise and let them be, my feelings stay a couple of minutes to an hour.

In this state, I meet James. I cannot sleep the night, or the night after. My eyes stay ‘open’ for two full weeks. Chandrika diagnoses, “You are ‘in Love’.” My attempts to meet him again, are in vain.

Four weeks after meeting James, my longing continues – I am happy that I feel so light in my being, right now. I am frustrated at times which feels overpowering. Before it leads to anger I want to get to the bottom of this frustration and come out of it:

What am I frustrated about? – That James is not responding. In the quietness of my mind I understand, that if James does not respond that is his ‘response’.

What does that mean to me? – I feel sad.

What is this sadness about? – That the depth of my love is not acknowledged. Oh. I do know the depth of my love to be sacred – I cannot make light of it because of James’ (or anyone’s) ignorance. I delve on this love and its depth. It lives in spite of James and my frustration. With this I know this love is not really about James. This love dwells deep within me. James only opened me to it. With this love I want to protect my very being from hurt and harm.

I think this is the most important analysis I have done in my life to-date. I am excited for me. I take many events in my life and my emotions through them, I practice going through to the bottom of this love with every emotion.

A year later I start meditating every night with a meditation called Transforming Emotions from a three meditation CD set, The Gift of Silence by the Guru. This would settle any/all emotions of the day. After two years, no emotions bother me. Any emotion that arises lasts a few seconds or drops as soon as it arises. Also this same time I learn all there is to know about ‘Love’ through the Guru’s commentaries on Narada’s Bhakti Sutras. This knowledge adds new, deeper meaning to my love for the world, James and me. It keeps me delightfully relaxed.

December 2006,

What love really does to you is that it refines your consciousness. In the state of love, you become sensitive. For your consciousness to perceive the truth, it needs to be in the state of love, which makes you very refined” – The Guru.

The hint I sent James has seeped in. I write James a letter, typed up, about what I like, admire and love about him. I can tell he liked reading it because the day he would receive it, buckets full of energy of pleasance descended on me. Oh. He got it. The second time he read it, I read it with him word for word.

On the Monday, I expect him to call me. I receive an email – a one liner.

I am flattered by your attention. Unfortunately, I am already in a relationship.”

I deliberate upon my experiences on the day I met James and the two weeks after. How can I add meaning to Unfortunately? GOSH. NO WAY. I am not going to take him away from someone.

I reply: “

What I have gained is priceless… I am glad I have enough projects to work on and forget what happened and you have enough wisdom to forgive me for the same.

Love you,”

I cannot fall out of love just because of a line in his email.

My journey about realizing my love and purpose in life starts now?

Love is not an emotion. Loving someone causes emotions. Once we learn to transcend emotions, love remains love and nothing else.

After learning the process of transforming emotions I apply it to every emotion, thought and feeling that arose in me. Each time I would trace the emotion, thought or feeling back to Love for myself and others. I realize “everything in life is about love”; Love is all there is in life.

Love you!